Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Bday weekend - Stuck

My 35th birthday is this weekend and I wish I felt more like this:

But honestly I have been feeling like this:

And not because of the age. My mom says that 35 was her favorite year, and I think that it is the best age to be. I am comfortable with myself, I feel like I have had a ton of experiences and education and don't make the stupid choices that I did in my twenties, and I have the confidence that only comes with true maturity. I am grateful for the things that I have accomplished in the last five years - I moved back to New Orleans from NYC and took on a small business (furniture and lighting showroom), which I have been running by myself for several years. I have gotten three degrees in that time, started my own interior design business, blog, and website, and done several projects that I am proud of.
But now I am starting to feel stuck. Because of my work situation I am unable to travel like I used to, and one of the unfortunate parts of the job is sitting in a building alone five days a week (with much to do on my days off). I am so exhausted by the work of running a business that I only want to veg out on the sofa at night. Since my bestie moved to California I do not go out or do anything social anymore. I gained weight over the last two years and after a couple of disastrous dating debacles took a hiatus from men. I think because of the economy and/or obligation to others a lot of us stay in situations that are not the best for us, like I have the last two years. I want my life to be exciting and fun, and not just drift on from day to day.
I am taking off the next few days to figure some things out. 35 is going to be my best year ever - with a new city or career, I hope. I am taking the LSAT Oct 1st with plans to start law school at night next year as well. I am going to get in the best shape of my life and I am going to visit people who are important to me in Mexico, NYC, and California. I am taking this bday as my New Year's - resolutions included.
See you next week, friends!


Naomi@DesignManifest said...

LOVE this post.

Good for you!! I believe in the power of intention and I think by putting it out there you are one step closer to making it happen. It makes me a little sad of you being a lawyer instead of a designer, because I think you are so talented, but you have to pursue what makes you happy.

If you ever want to Philadelphia to your list of destinations, I can offer you a bed! :)

Lonely Wife Project said...

Awww Lizbear, I can totally empathize. Real life is a lot more bleak than we sometimes portray on our blogs so I respect your honesty. I'm proud of your resolution. You take the week off and come back 35 and refreshed and blow us out of the water. Oh and THE HORSE CAME AND I LOVE IT TO DEATH!!! He's huge and gorgeous and heavy and it was the best surprise ever. It was too dark to take a pic last night, but I'll photograph and post a blog as soon as I can. THANK YOU! Happy birthday lover!

Elizabeth said...

thanks, Sabz - someone I met recently looked at my blog and thought, "no one is that bubbly and exclamation pointy all the time!" hahaha I had to explain to him that blogs have to have a "personality" and be upbeat for the women that read them but this year I have been feeling pretty suffocated. Can't wait to get out to Cali and hang with you - have a great trip to Chi-town!

Elizabeth said...

thanks, Naomi - I have never been to Philly; would love to visit and have a friend to show me around! I will always do my design work on the side, and hopefully I can do legal contracts, etc. for a design firm or showroom that I admire, or stay in a creative business that way. Just need to set myself up for a lifetime of making money, and not be dependent on the luxury furn. industry, which has been dead the last two years...

Anonymous said...

It sounds like you have a good plan. Best of luck to you and Happy Birthday!

Heather (love your space) said...

good for you. I can SO relate to so much in this post, despite the fact that I RECENTLY moved, have kids, a different lifestyle, etc. I should take cue for you and decide to make this year my best ever, too.


Tamra {walkswithBella} said...

Liz, you are one of the most adventurous, strong and ambitious bloggers I follow. I admire your ability to wear so many hats, career, intelligence and wow so many degrees, LSATS too! I appreciate your honesty and new resolutions you've set for yourself. You motivate me to keep creating myself. Happy Birthday darlin! Enjoy your time off and celebrate the past year and the new exciting 35th year to come!


Erika [small shop] said...

You know my thoughts on all of it. We have to take responsibility for our paths, and make things happen for ourselves! I'm so happy that you are well on your way to changing up your situation. I hope that design will always be a strong part of your life however, as you have greatly influenced me in this very short time!

Have a wonderful birthday, I will be thinking of you on Saturday and will toast you properly!

Elizabeth said...

Thanks all for kind thoughts - feel much better now - had a deep tissue massage! hahahah
See you next week!

Lucky said...

Happy Birthday Week, Liz! Love the blog and you, always, Lucky